


Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints

by fallacyofwhat



Series: exo one/twoshots [7]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Band, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, F/M, Family, Gen, Grandmothers, Humor, Jongdae is the born father, Musicians, Post-Hardcore to be more precise, Tattoos, a bit crack-ish, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21761407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallacyofwhat/pseuds/fallacyofwhat
Summary: Just Jongdae's daily struggles off stage. Did I mention that Jongdae called his band "The Dirty Otters"?
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Original Female Character(s)
Series: exo one/twoshots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536391
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints

He was sure he had naked skin left somewhere, at least on his buttocks, but he wasn’t so sure about it. His girlfriend never commented about weird stuff on his butt. His face was definitely out of the question. He turned before the full body mirror, just in briefs. He really has to gain the weight and muscles back, he felt like some small stick with tattoos even though years of training made him heavier and more healthy. Who needs abs and v-lines anyway? Eighty kilograms should be nice with the muscle mass and all. Even though he rips his shirts on a regular basis on stage, he did miss his slight beer belly.

“Honey, what are you doing there?” Someone commented from the doorway to their shared bathroom.

“Admiring my non-existent beer belly that I miss,” Jongdae patted his belly and inclined his head to Oliva who held her own round belly, “Don’t you think it would be cute if I had a similar belly to yours?” He walked over to her, his hands covering hers when he bumped their noses and left a kiss on her lips.

“I wouldn’t want you as fat as me, Dae.” Jongdae clutched his chest in fake shock, “You? Fat? Who said something to my buttercup?”

“Buttercup? Sunshine, you can move your sweet, sweet ass out of the bathroom and let me take a dump and buy ice cream,” she looked at him, before biting his nose.

“Liv, you’re insatiable, the doc said not to eat for two.” Jongdae chastised her but her eyes just turned into slits.

“Move, or I’m telling my mum.” Jongdae feared Olivia’s mum the same amount as he loved her, just as his father-in-law, Liv's dad. 

“Vanilla or what?”

“Maybe the mint-rosemary whatever ice cream from downtown?” Olivia smiled pained at him—the pregnancy was no joke for her—before she closed the door.

“I love you!” Jongdae hollered on his way to the bedroom to get sweatpants and a muscle shirt and his ugly sandals. Outside the door, he wore his cap and he was about to plug his mp3-player in when he realised how cold it actually was. Turning back around, he stared a hard second at the jackets on the rack. His was missing so he stole Liv’s floor-length rust coloured cardigan he would wear for a living. He should really ask her if he can borrow it for a stage. Wouldn’t be the first time, she had a great sense of fashion and now with her pregnancy, he raided her closet for jackets and hoodies on a regular basis; she wore his clothes, why not the other way around as well? His favourite leather jacket was actually hers after all.

He thought back to his tattoo question. Maybe he should visit Baekhyun later and ask for his stance on where to place the next tattoo, maybe shin?

Standing at the gate of house, he checked the contents of his playlist, skipping past the endless array of metalcore and post-hardcore songs and bands and settling on something more mundane. Wait, that definitely wasn’t his rap on the playlist. Seems like Liv had the player again. Pursing his lips, he looked up, bobbing his head up and down. The flow was nice until suddenly a melodic part came in which he didn’t like, but was exchanged by rap afterwards but then switched to vocals. It’s either rap or nothing. He was such a hypocrite when it came to music; either the whole package or none. He systematically skipped his own stuff as well.

He felt someone staring at him and looked up, just when he had settled on a song finally. Looking around, he tried to find out who it was until he saw a granny on the other side of the street, opposite of him. He pulled a long face.

“These youth, always on their phones, looking like criminals with all those tattoos and stuff. Are you even able to work looking like a criminal?” she hollered, her trolley standing next to her.

Jongdae gave her the stink eye, hand on his jutted out hip, throwing an accusing finger at her, the phone still in his outstretched hand, “Sacrilegious! Yo, Granny, you're not the one to make assuming remarks!”

“Are you helping me now, you criminal?”

“Only if you raise my allowance, otherwise you can see who’s going to help you!”

“Don’t you dare come over for cake on Sunday.”

This part of town was bourgeois as fuck, except Granny. People actually called the police on the two of them more than one time; they wouldn’t go two days without throwing insults at each other on a level that made people’s ears ring. He loved that woman almost as much as his own mum and Liv—she flipped him off. That was a first and Jongdae placed his hand over his heart in fake shock. How could a 70-year old woman be so mean? He flipped her off with both hands and stuck out his tongue.

“Get a grip on yourself you two, you’re embarrassing! How old are you? Five? And Jongdae Kim, is that  _ my  _ cardigan?” Liv stood at the kitchen window.

Both the granny and Jongdae looked up to the second story window before looking at each other and Jongdae then crossed the street in a second, grabbing her trolley and placing her arm on his, walking with her to the bus stop as fast as possible. “Let’s pretend we don’t know her,” he whisper-shouted and the Granny agreed.

At the bus stop, the granny looked Jongdae up and down and raised an accusing eyebrow, “Is that a new tattoo, you jobless bum?” She pointed with the handle of her walking stick at his throat.

“You like it?” He stretched his head back to give her a better view. It was an outline of an otter; how very predictable of Jongdae Kim, the front singer of  _ The Dirty Otters _ , a five-piece post-hardcore band.

_ The Dirty Otters,  _ or as Jongdae calls them as well:  _ The London Strippers _ , “not to confuse with London, Canada.” A very shitty pun Jongdae uses as a tagline with frequency, much to the others distaste because his humour is questionable.

Jongdae Kim, an Essex born Asian-Brit, 32 years old, songwriter and composer, as well as the unclean vocals; Daniel Čížik, a Slav immigrant, 34, bass guitar; Kofi Okeke, full scholarships and transferred at 18 from Africa to the UK, 34 as well, lead guitarist, backing vocals; Iona Maisuradze, a second-generation London-based Georgian, 35 years old, clean vocals, rhythmic guitar and Chanyeol Park, an immigrant from South Korea, 32, drummer, percussions.

All active since 2009 when they formed the band, all belonging to the same university, but different departments. Daniel, Kofi and Iona had been in the same minor actually, with Chanyeol and Jongdae in the same friendship circle at least. The three oldest studied music in minor but had different majors. Jongdae studied Classical Music as a major and English Literature as a minor and a certificate with honours in Creative Writing. Chanyeol had studied nothing with music, obtaining a Business Administration degree and becoming the bourgeois of the group, the only one who already married in his mid-twenties. 

The band also jokingly called their genre  _ Dadcore _ because all of them already had children on their own and Jongdae’s long-term girlfriend was pregnant in her second trimester already.

Kofi and Jongdae had been the first to meet, in an introductory and mandatory seminar for Literature. Kofi actually approached Jongdae first for two reasons: one because he sat near the stairs in the lecture hall and Kofi came late and there was a simple seat free at the stairs in the first few rows, and two because he saw the Parkway Drive shirt from a kilometre away. They bonded immediately over their love for post-hardcore and metalcore. Kofi was also the one to introduce Jongdae to Daniel and Iona half a year later, and Jongdae met Chanyeol on a jam session a year after he had met Kofi.

In 2008 they all met for the first time to practice and they all clicked immediately. They never took themselves seriously, starting with the band name and the covers. They self-released their first self-titled EP in 2011 and became a viral hit thanks to Jongdae, who made them film the MV in T-Rex costumes. From there onwards, it was a constant rise from there and now. They were the headliners at festivals and played concerts around the world, making money with what they loved: music, or more specifically, post-hardcore.

In 2013 Kris Wu, a Canadian-Chinese with a late master’s degree in Music Management under his belt became their manager. He was also Jongdae’s best friend, even if they met under imperfect circumstances where Jongdae almost dislocated Kris’ jaw in a pub. But hey, Kris was at fault, he thought it was a good idea to:

  * First, insult Jongdae and his Shostakovich shirt during orientation week from their university which they both helped organise for their department. That was a personal attack against Jongdae; no-one puts down Shostakovich in his vicinity. Especially some shitty, fat-ass, older Music Management student who thought he was finished after his bachelor while Jongdae was already knee-deep in his master’s program, mastering in organ while also trying to learn zither and prepared piano.
  * Second, underestimating Jongdae who looked so thin with his arms that Kris didn’t think he would have a lot of strength, not taking into account that Jongdae was a regular at the gym and was the one to carry instruments and speakers around, being a part-time rowdy for other bands. 



That was in 2010. Kris was a senior in age to the Jongdae, but the students didn’t care at that moment. Never in a million years did the two think they would become best friends.

Back in the present, Jongdae was helping the granny in the bus and scared some youngsters away from the seat so the old woman could sit down. He was also proud to call her his biggest fan. The woman’s late husband had been a rock musician himself and if she had the strength and time, she even came to his concerts and folk-rock solo projects. Just him and his guitar and sometimes his harmonica.

Those two were definitely the two only usual instruments he played, since part-time-job-wise he was working as an organist and teaching kids at the school Olivia worked at, when he doesn't really needed to work anyway since he was a full-time musician. But that didn’t stop him from playing the zither and prepared piano.

Jongdae did a double-take on one of the bus passengers when he stood next to the granny’s seat. There stood Baekhyun at the second exit at the articulated bus. Which wasn’t a problem in the first place since Jongdae knew the tattoo artist privately and knew he had no car, but— He wasn’t alone, Jongdae knew he had friends, but— But he never saw him with anyone being intimate and sober, but right now he was definitely making out with someone, in public, during work hours, probably not drunk. A world view cracked.

“What you’re looking at, kid?” Granny tugged at his sleeve and craned her head to see what he’s looking at or whom.

“Sacrilegious. Do you see what I am seeing?” he pointed out Baekhyun. 

“Sacrilegious, my ass. Oh great, another jobless bum, friend of yours?” She raised her voice on purpose and he knew it. But she must have met Baekhyun at least once on one of his concerts, he facepalmed. She was more embarrassing than he throughout his whole puberty. “Wait, who is he making out with?!” Every colour drained from Jongdae’s face when Baekhyun suddenly pulled apart from his partner and looking up for the voice that was calling him out. With wide eyes, Jongdae looked down to the grandma and clasped his hand in shock over her mouth. He looked back to Baekhyun who was red in his face and the bone-chilling look he received from the other guy was freezing his blood. He threw a finger, “Byun, that’s your mistake for doing that publically and you know how she is. I’m so sorry!” He pointed at the grandma who was waving mischievously.

The other guy was saying something to Baekhyun and Jongdae stared down at the grandma, “Granny, we’re going to leave this bus at the next station and you’ll apologise. Are we clear?”

“What are you? My father?” She smiled at him.

“Even 8-month-olds toothing are easier to handle,” he muttered when he helped her up, pushing the stop button for the next stop.

Much to his horror, Baekhyun and the stranger also got off the bus at that station.

Jongdae found out that the stranger was Baekhyun’s monogamous friend-with-benefits-slash-open-relationship, but Jongdae could tell there could be more. Even the granny said that later in the supermarket, when he was pushing the cart and she was throwing everything in.

Later that evening, Jongdae met with Chanyeol for a concert both of them attended as fans, or more like Chanyeol dragged him along, because his parents-in-law visited. His daughter was with his aunt living near Islington, where Chanyeol and  Eun-Kyung, his daughter, spent most of their time. Chanyeol’s family situation wasn’t easy. He came on his own to England, his parents back in Korea trying their best to support their son. He knocked up a girl at 26, in the middle of his bachelor thesis and he almost became a uni drop-out to support the young woman since he saw himself responsible. In the beginning, there was actual love between the two, after they had already been together for two years, so marriage was the next step. Chanyeol’s parents and his sister with his brother-in-law came to the wedding. But soon after, four years into the marriage, his world and Eun-Kyung’s started to fall apart. His wife was mostly not at home and Jongdae and other band mates saw her at parties or whatnot, when Chanyeol was at home with his daughter. Her parents pressured him into getting a reputable job because "music isn’t a real job" was one of the nicer things they told him. Kofi pressured Chanyeol into taking a vacation with Eun-Kyung and helped him get a passport for the little girl and sat him on a plane to Seoul. Chanyeol’s wife apparently didn’t care an ounce, since Olivia saw her cheating on Chanyeol in the time he was visiting his parents.

No-one could act fast enough when Olivia suddenly stood before her and slapped her across the face in the club. She made it very clear that the woman was an incompetent leech and disgrace of a mother, effectively scaring away the guy she apparently was cheating with for a longer time already, never telling him she was married and had a 6-year-old child.

Chanyeol and his ex were still fighting over custody but lived together for the sake of Eun-Kyung. But everything seemed in favour of Chanyeol who had a stable income in contrast to his ex, who leeched off her parents. And once he had the custody, he would be out of the picture and move in together with his aunt since it was closer to his workplace and in a nicer neighbourhood for Eun-Kyung to grow up at.

Back in the present, Jongdae jumped out the bus wearing black basketball shorts, a tank top from a band no-one could read the name of and his bum bag. If he was 20 cm taller, everyone would instantly know he totally belonged to the moshing department, but his height was deceiving. Chanyeol had a similar get-up but only because it was unnaturally warm in England during that summer.

They might meet up after the concert with some friends at a bar, but they were flexible in there planning.

Jongdae was nursing his split open lip from where an elbow landed and the guy was over the moon sorry for hitting him in the pit like that but was terrified when he actually recognised Jongdae. He pressed his lips onto his condensing pint of beer in the pub and sent his girlfriend a selfie of himself with Chanyeol in the background and another mate they met. 

Why the fuck was Baekhyun everywhere? This time it wasn’t his quite serious fling (serious as in eyes and demeanour, but also feelings), but a good-looking, tall youngster—probably, he assumed, an office worker, according to the messenger bag and the loosened tie, the suit. Man, Jongdae already liked the tailor Baekhyun was running around with, he was the one to comment on the quality of the cardigan and his geometric chest piece and he seemed to be older than Baekhyun, which wasn’t hard, to be honest, but at least mid or late 30s. But Baekhyun seemed to have a thing for men in suits. 

He remembered Baekhyun getting very touchy when he saw Jongdae on an event in suit. Jongdae wasn’t a nosy bitch, but Granny taught him differently.

He never was one to tell people what to do with their life, but the youngster’s eyes oozed with confusion and infatuation and Jongdae  _ knew  _ Baekhyun and his behaviour with people that seemed to be interested in him, be it romantically or platonically. 

He cupped the side of his mouth, pint in the other hand: “Byun, Byun Baekhyun, mate! Over here you jobless bum.”


End file.
